Memories

I really be missing our lil functions we used to have. Wasnt nothing big or fancy..just all of us together in one spot and that was enough for everybody.

The Guest List Is Missing Two Names Now

If a invite went out today LilDon Williams and Domo would be the first two names on it, and they the two that cant be there. Nothing feels the same without them. Somebody always gone be missing from the room now and everybody in there know exactly who.

Memories Like These Stay With You For Life

The functions done changed but what we had at em aint going nowhere. That clip been sitting in my phone and now it got a home on here too, so whenever yall miss em like I do you know where to come.

Love Yall Forever LilDon And Domo

Ya birthday came around again and it still dont feel right saying heavenly in front of it. Been saying it a few years now. Still catch in the throat every time.

Young Block. Cuz. Loud as hell and proud of it. Could not walk in a room without the whole room knowing he was in it, and did not want to. Big laugh, big arm round whoever was closest, big opinion on everything from the plate to the playlist. If the music was wrong he was gone say it. If the music was right it was probably his.

Yall know how we do birthdays for the ones who gone. Somebody gone play his stuff loud in the car with the windows down. Somebody gone tell the same story about him that get told every year, and it gone be funnier this year than last, cause thats how it work, the stories grow and the people dont. Somebody gone laugh too hard and then go quiet right in the middle of it, and everybody in the room gone know exactly why, and nobody gone say nothing. Thats the part the pictures dont catch. Loud, then quiet, then loud again, cause quiet is not what he would want and we all know it.

Ya missed. Not sometimes. Not on birthdays only. Always. Every group picture got a gap on the end where the big arm used to go. Every cookout got a spot by the speaker where somebody should be standing telling the DJ he wrong.

Happy heavenly birthday cuz. Keep ya arm round us. We still feel it.

Been under a wig since the heat broke. Not cause the hair underneath was bad, cause nobody had touched it right in a long time and it was easier to cover it than to keep getting disappointed. Three different chairs this year. Three different women saying they do silk presses. Three times walking out with hair that looked fine for a day and then remembered who it was by Tuesday.

Then somebody at the nail shop said one name. Shonna. BeStylin Black. Said it like it was obvious, like everybody already knew and half the shop nodded.

So the appointment got booked. Wig came off in her chair this morning and she looked at what was under it for a long minute, did not say nothing and just started working. No lecture about what the last person did wrong. No sucking her teeth at the ends. Just hands moving, heat going and the kind of quiet a woman only get when she know exactly what she doing.

Two hours later this walked out her door. Look at it. Bouncing on it’s own. Shining without a drop of oil sitting on top. Flipping at the ends like it got somewhere to be. Had to stand in the parking lot between my car and somebody red truck and let the sun hit it before even going home, cause a press like this deserve a picture while it still perfect.

Thats a new stylist. Thats a permanent chair. Every silk press from here on, every blowout, every time the wig need to come off and the real thing need to show up, it go to Shonna and nobody else. Loyal is not a strong enough word. She got a client for life and she earned it in one sitting.

Silk press season. Wig in the closet. Toodles.

11:11 and this man SLEEP. Yall see the picture. Hair tied, no lashes, eyes shut, laying under a hotel ceiling in Gatlinburg making a wish like somebody at a sleepover and Jimmy next to me snoring on our anniversary. Been sleeping first since the day we met. Gone be sleeping first at the funeral too, his or mine, ion care which.

What got wished for aint none of yall business. Aht aht. But the day before the wish? Yall can have all of that.

Margarita first. Big as a flower pot, salt all round the rim, lime hanging off the side like it was scared. Jimmy told the man make it strong and that man HEARD him. Drank it like a lady for about four minutes lul. After that the lady left and whoever showed up in her place had a real good time.

Now the outfits. He said no matching this year. Okay. So mustard top and mustard shorts went in the bag and nobody said nothing. Guess who walked out the bathroom in mustard. GUESS. Whole pool thought we planned it and he let them think it, standing there with his lil face like it was his idea. Look at him in that picture. He know what he did.

He wanted to walk the strip. We did not walk the strip. Brown dress, white porch, mountain air doing something to my edges and a grown man somewhere behind the camera talking bout we drove all this way to sit down. Yeah. We drove all this way to sit down. Thats what the money was for.

Sugarlands was supposed to be one sample. One. Yall know how one go. Stood in there next to him cheesing like we aint got kids at home and a dog that eat the mail and whatever came after that first cup, there is no receipt for it. On purpose. Ion keep receipts on myself.

Then the hotel. Then the ceiling. Then 11:11.

Happy anniversary Jimmy. The wish was about you. Thats all you getting bihhh. Toodles.

My daughter won Student of the Month. Say it again for the people in the back. MY DAUGHTER. Student. Of. The. Month.

Now read the certificate. Look close. Yall see what they gave it to her for? Respect.

Respect.

I need a minute.

Cause yall know where she did not get that from. She did not get that from her mama. Her mama got a blog called get my name out ya search bar. Her mama block people for sport. So whoever in that building taught my child respect, I am gone need yall to teach it to me next, cause clearly it can be done.

Look at her tho. Yellow shirt, white belt, glasses, braids up in the yellow bow, holding that certificate with the lil pencil they gave her like it was a trophy. That smile is not a fake picture smile. That is a child who knew before they called her name.

And the second picture. Yall. Her baby sissy in her lap after, in the yellow bow to match, pacifier in hand, looking at everybody like she the one that won. She look just like Veja did as a baby. Same cheeks, same look on her face like she already judging you. I got baby fever and I got it from my own child.

Three of us showed up for a Tuesday morning assembly in a school hallway and stood there grinning like she got a scholarship. Thats what you do. You show up. She gone remember who was in that hallway a lot longer than she remember the certificate.

Go Veja. Best in the West. Mama is so proud of you baby girl.

Now go get October too.

September 14. Mama Arlene day. Every year I come sit with her and every year I got something to tell her, so here go this year’s.

Went out there in the blue. Locs down, no makeup, cause she would have said girl why you dressed up for me. Put my hands on the stone and stood there a while. The flowers from last time still holding on. Somebody else been by too, there was a new bunch on the right I did not bring. Thats her. People still coming.

Her stone say it better than I can. Loving wife, mother, friend, nanny and sister. Every one of them words got a room full of people behind it who would tell you a different story about her and every story would end the same way, with her laughing at something and telling you to eat.

And the cardinal on the stone. If you know, you know. She did not miss a game and she did not let you miss one either.

Six years now. It dont get easier, it just get familiar. You learn where the ache live and you leave it room.

So here is what I told her this time. The kids getting big. The lil one got her nerve. I am still doing the most and still not sorry about it, and she would not want me to be. And I miss her. I told her that last. I always tell her that last.

Miss you beautiful. Happy birthday Mama Arlene. We love you.

He ready. Give em people a problem today.

Look at that face. LOOK at it. That is not a nervous first day face. That is not a mama dont leave me face. That is a face that already know he finna run that classroom by lunch. Teeth out, eyes squinted, both fists balled up like he about to say something slick. He four and he already got a mugshot smile.

Outfit check, cause yall know I did not send him out here regular.

White tee, fresh, the lil logo on the chest. Black cargo pants that I had to roll up once. And the red and white Jays that cost more than my first car payment, on a child who will be in a sandbox by 9:30. I know. I know. Dont say it. I said it to myself while I was tying them.

Hair done the night before. Two braids, tight, so nobody gone be sending home notes about it.

He walked out that door like he been going to school for years. Did not look back one time. I was the one standing on the sidewalk with my phone out doing the most. He was already gone in his head.

To his teacher, whoever you are, I am praying for you. He sweet. He also do not listen. Both things is true. Call me if you need me, and you gone need me.

First day down. Pray for that school. Toodles.

Dear Gatlinburg,

Its been real. Ima be honest, I did not expect much from a mountain town with a pancake house on every corner, and you humbled me. Birthday celebration complete. I am headed back home to my kids and I am taking a jar with me.

Ole Smoky, this part is for you. Yall let me sample every flavor at the counter like I was a judge on a show. I stood there in the orange romper with a fan on a lanyard round my neck cause it was ninety degrees in that barn, tasting moonshine out of lil cups, nodding like I knew what I was nodding at. I did not. By the fourth one I was just saying mmm. Anyway I bought two. The one that taste like a pie and the one that taste like a mistake. The mistake one is for Jimmy.

Look at this picture. That is a woman who has been on vacation exactly long enough. Curls holding up, smile on, fan in hand, feet in slides that been walked in for three days straight. Somebody’s uncle in the back pretending he not looking. He was looking. He can look.

Here go what I am bringing home. A jar of moonshine, a jar of the other moonshine, a bag of taffy I will not share, and a body that need its own bed. Here go what I am leaving. My voice, my money, and whatever that was I sang at the karaoke place on night two.

Kids, mama coming. Clean up before I get there.

Gatlinburg, I will be back. Not soon. But back.

Love, The lady in the orange

Down here sampling all the moonshine and wine I went to three different places and was feeling fine

Yall thought I was playing when I said that in the caption. I was not. Three. Wristband on, glasses on, pink two piece on, and a floor that was already tilting a lil bit by the time somebody took this picture.

Place one. Walked in serious. Read every label like I was gone be tested. Asked the man questions. He answered. I nodded. Sampled six. Bought nothing. Told him I would be back. I was not back.

Place two. Less reading. More sampling. This the one in the picture, all them jars behind me, every flavor of moonshine God ever allowed and a sign that say all jars twenty six dollars like that is a deal. It is not a deal. I bought two.

Place three. Wine. Thought that would slow it down. It did not slow it down. By the third pour I was best friends with a couple from Ohio and had agreed to something I do not remember agreeing to. If yall from Ohio and you reading this, I am not coming to the cookout.

And that is how a grown woman end up feeling fine on a Tuesday afternoon in the mountains with a lanyard round her neck and a bag of jars she got to carry back to the car. Fine. Not drunk. Fine. There is a difference and I was standing right on it.

Somebody get me a water. Toodles.

Exhibit B in the case of who is the favorite. Yall remember exhibit A, the picture from way back with her hand on my shoulder. Here go the follow up.

My sister gave me a birthday card. Inside the card, in her own handwriting, it say:

Look at you! Moving on up!! I upgraded you. $2.00 for a $2.00 HOE. Ha Ha!!

And taped inside, two whole dollars. Two ones. Not even a two dollar bill, which would have at least been a collectors item. Two regular ones like she pulled them out the cup holder.

Now. She said she upgraded me. So I am guessing last year was one dollar. I dont remember last year. That tell you exactly what I did with the dollar.

I want yall to understand something. Coco can afford more than two dollars. This was not a budget thing. This was a decision. She sat down, picked the card, wrote that, laughed at it by herself, then went and found two ones on purpose. Thats effort. Thats love. Thats also slander and I will be pressing charges.

I read it in the middle of everybody and had to put the card down and walk out the room. Came back, read it again, walked out again. Best card I ever got and I have gotten cards with actual money in them.

Two dollars. Framed. Going on the wall next to the family pictures so every guest who come in this house gotta ask about it and I gotta tell the story.

Coco, thank you. Next year I expect five. Inflation.